Reasons Chiang Mai is awesome!
Not 7, but 8 days of Buddha. THAT'S AN EXTRA BUDDHA FOR FREE!
They are not afraid to show you how ridiculous they think white people look.
Rawr. I'm a sea monster.
Their umbrellas hold THEMSELVES up.
Yo dawg, I heard you like roofs, so we put some roofs on your roof so you can have shelter beneath your shelter. While you ride.
In case of flood, remove shoes, hop three feet, but DO NOT ENTER.
The trees are covered in thoughtful Public Serenity Announcements.
There are hot girls there.
The animals live in perfect harmony. Perfect, tense, hair-raising harmony.
They have Monkey School and Elephant Camp. Your kids have to stay at the hotel, but your Elephants and Monkeys will be highly educated and entertained.
Your dad's old pickup with a custom cap and tail job is the new local bus.
They invented the StairMaster(tm)
Anyone can be a designer label there.
They have a super highway.
The children are well-versed in the art of commerce, having learned such phrases as "GIVE ME MONEY FOR PICTURE."
Even their statues know how to avoid excessive sun exposure.
They take "Your Mom" jokes to the next level.
Cats still don't care if you're watching them.
The turtles have many names. None of them "turtle."
They help you get over your addiction to coffee by only serving it on the roof.
Its never hard to find a laser pistol.
The dogs have easy to read expressions.
They warn you of doors with poor tact.
Goats and butterflies get along nicely.
They train lumberjacks to tear trees down with their bare hands.
All major western periodicals are available there, in a language the average westerner can't read.
If you're ever lost, they'll tell you where to go, and how much to spend.