How to survive your first day in Taipei
They put us up in the Howard International Plaza hotel. This is the secret lai.... er... meeting area for the mad scient... er... managers. There is a moat filled with alligators that look like tofu.
Dear Howard International Plaza. Please move this building, it is blocking our view of the mountains, thank you, room 312.
Thank you. Much better.
"Hello, I would like to sell you insurance."
Once a year a wizard pops out of the ground and puts this hat on.
These signs are in every elevator in Taipei. Jed put it best: "Step 2: A stuck elevator is a great place to meet chicks. stay calm, be cool. A sleeping dog is a good way to tell if you're too boring."
Further evidence that Taiwan is actually an enormous boat.
The game "Myst" is part of the national heritage. This unlocks the portal to unlimited green tea.
When you open the portal, hide.
Pigeons look the same, act the same, taste the same.
They have great taste in music that they've never heard.
These simple tips should help you not leave your hotel room at all while in Taipei. Have a great time!