Things to remember on New Year's Eve

When travelling, its best to remember a few simple safety tips on New Year's Eve.  All the fun and enjoyment is great, but without some careful planning, you might end up in a bad state of affairs.

1. Know where your toilets are.
They're usually hiding, inconspicuously, trying to blend into the crowd, occasionally dancing, and in rare cases, getting horribly intoxicated and flipping over.  You should probably stay at least 50-100 feet away from them at all times.  I recommend using an air horn for storing urine.  You'll find them everywhere.

2. Avoid Zombies
New Year's Eve is a prime time for zombies.  They will usually hang out near the bathrooms.  Some of them may pretend to be "into the music" or "really like this guy on stage," or even be so bold as to "have no idea who that guy is hosting."  Remember to carry appropriate defense items such as crow bars, axes, and windshield washer fluid.  Zombies hate being clean.

3. Be Wary of "Catchy Dance Music."
I once headed up an expedition to a "dance club" back in the 09's and few survived.  Especially in cold weather, hypothermia, hypodermics, and general brain death tend to occur if you are in close proximity for extended periods of time.  Smile, nod, bounce around if you feel like it, but don't get caught up in the mesmerizing rhythms, or else you'll end up in the emergency room, or worse, at an after-party.

4. Bundle Up
At least in the Northern Hemisphere(tm) its usually a bad time to wear shorts, tank tops, and American Apparel.  Its advisable to wear as many layers as possible, and buy additional clothing to pile on top of those layers, essentially wearing three outfits by the time you get back home.

5. Look Out for Bears
They might not know they're dangerous, but when they realize it, we'll all be in trouble.

6. Explosives are Dangerous
Set them off as close to, if not on top of, the place with the most people getting the most attention.  That way when they catch on fire, it will be more entertaining.

I hope that these tips have helped you plan appropriately for your New Year's Eve.

Thank you, and Good Day.


Popular posts from this blog

The learning curve

Hemlock Restaurant: Bangkok, Thailand